Ugh... Surgery.

I'm so stinkin' anxious about surgery.

I fear the worst - that something will go wrong and she'll come out of surgery with more issues than she went in or that her sweet personality will be changed by it or the worst, that we'll leave that hospital without our little girl.

I hope that I can be more composed and prepared this time but who knows. I already want to pack just because it's the only thing I can do to feel like I'm readying myself for it.

I've sat more than once with our little girl and cried. I love her to pieces and hate to see her go through these things. For them to put another scare on her little body, it just makes me hurt for her.

I love her just the way she is and can't imagine what she'll look like after surgery. It's a very strange concept to me. I know that the surgery is best for her - it closes her skull, making everyday life safer for her- but even knowing that I still hate that she has to do it.

Crossing my fingers that after this surgery we'll be staying away from the hospital for a while. They're awesome people but I don't enjoy being there.